One of my friends lost a patient some time ago. It happened during the induction of anesthesia. Just as aviation disasters often happen during take-off or landing, operating room codes or emergencies often take place as anesthesia is being administered or terminated. His patient was terribly, terribly ill, chronically with diabetes, heart disease, kidney disease, and vascular disease, and acutely with other things. She had been through many operations already. He prepared the anesthetic with meticulous care, spoke to the patient's family about the risks, but despite all his efforts, his patient was too weak to tolerate this one last anesthetic. He labored for over an hour to resuscitate her, to no avail. It was the kind of case every anesthesiologist hopes never to have to face.
Unfortunately, it's also the kind of situation that comes to every anesthesiologist's table sooner or later, regardless of his or her skill and experience. My anesthesiologist friend asked me a very thought-provoking question after he told me about his experience. He asked, "Are you willing to continue in a career knowing that this will happen to you someday, if it hasn't already, and you're going to have to deal with it and live with it and not give in to grief and self-doubt afterward? Do you love this work and believe in yourself enough to keep going? Because if you don't, you need to get out now while you can."
These were sobering reflections. If I left my work as an anesthesiologist now, what would I do? Where would I go?
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http://anesthesioboist.blogspot.com/2008/08/losing-patients.html
